tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8443946567762130151.post3965587181471940857..comments2023-12-27T09:26:12.279-08:00Comments on Kim Fielding Writes: LabelsKim Fieldinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14351107783738983028noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8443946567762130151.post-83351442368040672312014-05-22T09:31:13.516-07:002014-05-22T09:31:13.516-07:00Great post, Kim :) Your daughter is lucky to hav...Great post, Kim :) Your daughter is lucky to have such an awesome mom. <br /><br />I was thinking about labels not so long ago myself. I identify as bisexual (it's a label I claimed 25 years ago), but then I was talking to a friend who self-identified as pansexual and I started thinking about it. Technically, that label fits me better (I really don't care if someone is male, female, somewhere in between, transgender, whatever), *but* it was so hard and such a long fight to come to terms with the label bisexual that I'm not willing (or maybe just not ready) to give it up--even though it's fraught with issues. (Despite the issues, once I had a label for myself, I was much happier; if other people have issues with bisexuality, that's their problem not mine ;-) ) H.B. Pattskynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201149134614884167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8443946567762130151.post-55681072842827484032014-05-22T09:03:47.263-07:002014-05-22T09:03:47.263-07:00I've never been a huge fan of labels, mostly b...I've never been a huge fan of labels, mostly because things look vastly different form the outside, sometimes, than they truly are on the inside. Like my relationship that looks like what most people would label as traditional marriage. That label doesn't reflect who I am, who my kids are, or, I'm coming to realize slowly, and probably too slowly, my husband. I had labelled him in my mind, and he isn't that guy. It's caused a lot of strife to try and cram him into the box I thought he belonged in. He doesn't fit and doesn't want to fit. Even as open-minded as we all like to think we are, sometimes, we make mistakes.<br /><br />And then. sometimes, we need the labels, too. It's a very grey and foggy area.Jaime Sammshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03756034484406953047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8443946567762130151.post-66518376056026101752014-05-21T08:40:00.798-07:002014-05-21T08:40:00.798-07:00Your daughter is asking interesting questions! Coo...Your daughter is asking interesting questions! Cool that it spurred this discussion of labels.<br /><br />I am quite comfortable labeling myself. I'm happy to use labels that others claim for themselves in reference to them, or leave off the labels if they don't like labels. In terms of relationships, though, that's a little bit different in my view. <br /><br />I prefer to leave the labels off of a relationship, because it can give people a mistaken notion of a person's orientation. Your daughter's example of the two bisexual girls in a relationship is a perfect example. If people call it a lesbian relationship, other people might assume that means that the girls are lesbians, which is not the case. If I call my current relationship with a cisgender man "straight", that can give the impression that I'm straight, but I'm not, I'm pansexual. <br /><br />Risks of labeling oneself - not a whole lot, beyond whatever stigma would be associated with whatever one labels oneself as. Risk of labeling others with the labels they identify with - same. Risk of mislabeling others - offending or hurting them, misinforming or confusing other people who you might talk to them about. Risk of labeling relationships in general - see above. Risk of all labeling - thinking you know exactly what the label means and putting someone into a neat little box that they might not quite fit into. <br /><br />Benefits - I agree that humans are usually more comfortable with labeling and categorizing (both from psychology classes and life experience). It makes things clearer when a label has a definition and someone who identifies with that label fits that definition. <br /><br />Do we try too hard to label? Probably.<br /><br />Self-imposed labels are always preferable than externally imposed labels. Everyone should have the right to label themselves. <br /><br />Looking forward to seeing what other people have to say!<br /><br /><br />Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08893678776884555248noreply@blogger.com